ACT ONE
Scene: 2 am, the bar. MERE, ELSA and ANDREW are ordering their last beers.
MERE: Ah Nick hasn't texted me back.
ELSA: [ahem] oh, [ahem] what?
MERE: I'd texted him earlier and haven't heard from him.
ELSA finds NICK in her phone and texts him: "what. the fuck. don't play me with a friend." and deletes his number.
MERE: K, lets go back to our house or find a party or something.
ELSA: fuck yes. i have to drop my roommates' car off though, I'll drive you to yours and you wanna follow me home and then take me to your house?
MERE: Sure, let's go.
ANDREW: I'll meet you guys there.
MERE, ELSA and ANDREW pound their beers.
MERE AND ELSA go to ELSA'S car. ELSA turns Grizzly Bear up all the way. MERE lights a cigarette.
MERE: I fucking love this album. Actually the last guy I boned before Nick was the one who played it for me.
ELSA: Mmmm, yeah, it's pretty amazing.
MERE: So what about you and Andrew? You guys gonna make out again?
ELSA: uh, no. that was a one-time thing.
MERE: Well he's been talking about you all week. I'm glad you finally came out so he can shut up.
ELSA and MERE arrive at MERE'S house. MERE goes to get her car. ELSA sits in the car listening to Grizzly Bear.
ANDREW swings open the passenger side door, leans over and starts making out with ELSA.
ANDREW: Is this Grizzly Bear?
ELSA: duh.
ANDREW stumbles backward against the door.
ELSA: Wait, where are you going?
ANDREW: Matt's house. you guys should come afterwards.
MERE walks up to the car and hands ELSA three PBRs.
MERE: You left these here last time.
ELSA: Sick.
MERE: Ok, let's go. See ya, Andrew.
ANDREW: Matt's. After.
MERE: Yeah, we get it. We'll be there.
MERE follows ELSA to her parent's house to drop of the car. ELSA goes inside to get some more beer. ELSA gets into MERES car and cracks open a PBR.
ELSA: So, what was going on with you and Nick?
MERE: Eh, we dated a long time ago. Then I was wasted last weekend and called him. He came over, we boned. I was laughing the whole time though, and I think he was pissed.
ELSA: ha. oh. he seems like he has the biggest napolean complex ever.
MERE: UH, yeah. Also that guy has never heard of foreplay.
ELSA: mmm for some reason I can see that.
MERE: Yeah, I was just kind of bored, that's why I even called him in the first place.
ELSA looks at her phone and has 2 missed calls from Andrew. ELSA and MERE arrive at MERE's house. ANDREW and the TWO MATTS are standing in the back parking lot behind the house.
ELSA: you guys want beer?
MERE: it's gross and totally skunked.
ELSA: Yeah right, it's delicious.
TWO MATTS: yeah, sure.
ELSA: Here, you guys can split one.
THE TWO MATTS share a beer.
ANDREW: what the fuck are we doing? is there a party or not?
MATT: the one on orchard got busted, and the one on bayview is just like 4 people sitting around.
ANDREW: fuck this, I'm ordering pizza.
ANDREW orders a pizza.
Idle conversation ensues.
MERE: Ok, what are we doing? Let's at least go inside. It's not even warm out.
ELSA to ANDREW: Are you going to get that pizza?
ANDREW: Yeah, you wanna come?
ELSA: Yeah.
ANDREW: Ok guys, we're going to get the pizza. See you guys in a bit.
ELSA and ANDREW get into Andrews car. ELSA drinks a beer.
ANDREW: I'm like the best drunk driver ever. Like, better than most sober people.
ELSA doesn't really care and mumbles in response. ANDREW is going about 70 on the highway. They arrive at the pizza place and ANDREW runs in to get the pizza.
ANDREW: This is the best pizza in town. You want a piece?
ELSA: I don't eat pizza, I'm vegan.
ANDREW: Fuck you. Do you eat popcorn? I make the best popcorn ever.
ELSA: Yeah, that sounds sick.
ANDREW: Fuck the party. Let's go back to my house, I'll make you popcorn and we can watch the Ricky Gervais show.
ELSA: That sounds good.
ANDREW turns the car around and starts speeding in the opposite direction.
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