my fave thnksgvng rcp

So you said you can't cook and are in charge of dins this Thursday; you need to give yourself more credit and OWN this jawn. Cooking= throwing some stuff I didn't measure into a pot and setting the timer for 30 minutes. I make one thing for thanksgiving every year; there used to be a recipe but I lost it and following directions is for mnstrmrs. So, here's my SUPER DANK CRANBERRY CHUTNEY. It's pretty tart, and can be served room temp or cold, which is the perfect antidote to the savory/hot fest going on in your mouth.

1 Beer (or 4, whatevs)

1 Box of wine

LCD Soundsystem pandora station

1 cup water

brown sugar

white vinegar

1 bag (or whatever) of cranberries (did you know that Ocean Spray is a co-op of cranberry farmers and one of the country's largest?)

2 apples

Some raisins

Some walnuts

Cinnamon

Allspice

Nutmeg

Ginger

Ok. Open the beer. Put the water into a medium/large saucepan, boil. Cut apples into small chunks. Same with walnuts (like 3/4 cup or so, I like a lot, but whatever you want). Finish the beer. Get another one or start on the wine. Pop cranberries into pot. Same with walnuts, raisins (like a handful) and apples. Now add an extended splash of the vinegar. Not too much, just more than a little. Now add the sugar and stir pretty well (I like about 1/3 cup of sugar; that evens out the bitterness, but if you want it sweet, add like 1/2 or 2/3 cup).

Before you put in the spices, you're gonna need another glass of wine. Ok, so do about a teaspoon of of cinnamon, a heavy sprinkle of the allspice, half that of the nutmeg, and just a pinch of the ginger. Ok, now stir pretty well. Let it boil, then turn down to low and let it simmer for about 30 minutes.

Down a few more glasses of wine and send some txts about how fucking sick LCD is, and how you kinda feel like "Drunk Girls" is the "Leaves of Grass" of our generation.

When the buzzer rings, check on it and stir. You want most of the water to have evaporated-- at this point, there will still be a quite a bit. Simmer for another 10 minutes. Ponder your feelings on Passion Pit; relevant sdtrk for an authentic DP or or neon tween jams?

Stir chutney, simmer five more mins. Decide you are going to text that bro who you're not that into but really wants to bone you just cause like, what else are you doing (besides watching four more episodes of 30 Rock on netflix)?

So when the next five mins is up, turn off the heat and let cool on the stovetop for a while (there will still be some liquid left but that's ok; it will congeal [yum] in the fridge). Pop into glass container (plastic + hot = cancer) and throw in fridge. Let the chutney chill for at least a day before serving; it's both more mild and more flavorful after relaxing for a bit. Also really f-ing good on a turkey sandwich Friday morning.

A post about waxing mustaches

I'm not even a little Italian and every six weeks or so I look in the mirror and see a 13 year old Hispanic boy. Before he morphs into Tom Selleck, I reach for the wax and nip things in the bud. I used to go to my local Vietnamese nail place, but once they had me in the chair they would all but force themselves upon my eyebrows too, which I am in no hurry to give up.
So now I do it in the peace of my own home, with a fabulous natural kit by Parissa, a French-Canadian company. (I once tried to do my armpits too, and it was the most painful thing I've ever inflicted upon myself, so I recommend against that).
While we're on the topic of mustaches, my dad's, along with Mr. Selleck's, may be the only non-ironic ones left in the Western hemisphere.

I forget my twitter password!

noooooooooooooooo!!!

How To Cure Moustache Envy

And it was only fifty cents! But I'm pretty sure a real one wouldn't come off when you puke in your sleep after 11 Milwaukee's Best(s?). So color me still envious.

Re: Crash and Burn

So what's a TOTALLY creative, complete renaissance girl Reagan's kid to do?

Well, you already answered your own question with that one. Go out and get laid anyway!

As your sister in living rent free/jobless/just tryna experience something real, grrrrl have I been there.

When criticism from the world at large (parents, other family members, clueless friends, etc) arises, I like to do two things: 1) look at their lives, and ask myself if that's something I aspire to, and 2) reach into my arsenal of humans who I do think lived badassedly ie the way I wish to live in general, and ask myself what they would think. More often than not, I think that they would be like, "fuck yeah. I never had a real job or a mortgage either!" If Allen Ginsberg ever walked up to me and was like, "what the hell are you doing? stop it!" I sure as shit would. Until then, I'm gonna keep believing that what I'm doing (or not doing) is ok because I'm ok with it.

Kinda just think that the world is full of people who just don't "get it" (as illustrated by the fact that the world is falling the fuck apart), so I'm not too quick to get down on one who decides to say "f that shit" and avoid the trappings of modern life at all costs.

Personally, I think your response of the creative realm being different is completely valid. The problem is that our dumb world places value on monies more that anything else so it's hard for people normalized by this culture to see the other things you've "earned" this year: an awesome portfolio, great experience and lots of contacts.

Maybe just in the interest of preserving your rent-free way of life for the time being, it would be worth having a sit down with the roommates and telling them your plans and your reasons for your life choices, internship, etc. All parents really want is their kids to have some idea of what they want to do, and surprisingly think that their kids are totally clueless. I've had SO many convos with my madre re: this topic, while I am FREAKING out because I can't do what I want to do and stress about "the future" ALL the time, while she's asking me if I ever think about "the future."

So yeah. You just gotta like do what you wanna do, while attempting to keep the roommates happy. Sucks that they don't understand the world, so you gotta do your best as a liason. Also, if you are interested in earning dollars, is there any after-school art program or something you could work at? Maybe not with li'ls, but high school kids could be fun.

(just read Dan Savage and am feeling all advice columny, apparently.)

Welp, I'm about to go to an interview for a barrista job! Hopefully my future co-workers will be 19 and hot.

GETS IT

from an interview of this guy on the street:

I don’t use a computer because I only handwrite people.

You don’t tweet?

Tweet? No, dude, I’m not that important. Who wants to hear about how I wiped my ass or how I had scrambled eggs for breakfast?

Iggy and Slash.

Actually I had pumpkin pancakes today. Every gift I give is handmade, because that’s what I do. I sit at home with a glue-stick under black light, Christmas lights, and a candle burning. That’s what I like because it keeps me warm and when I make things I have a ball.

In light of recent tragedies...

I've been reading the wikipedia page for American Samoa. Thinking of tryna find away to get to the South Pacific, mayB do sum hard werkin, teachin English - this fair language of ours (flip-flop - wtf?!) and experience sumthin really reals that will make my existence back in the states more interesting to evry1 else.

I read "Getting Stoned With Savages" and "Sex Lives of Cannibals" when I was jobless and smokin pot on the porch in Portland (reprezent!) and felt that this guy was l337 because he went to live on a fuckin tropical island for a couple yrs without a TV - and people want to read about how real his lyfe was.

I really think we should get crackin' on our book about tryna "figure it all out" and "make sumthin of ourselves" - then people can read it and think 'thats exactly how I feel right in this moment - wow, they really get me, mayB I can figure it all out too sumday.'

NEhow. A grl I met in PDX - Land of Benevolence, moved back with her 'rents in NYC (upper east side, harsh) and is leaving in a week for the South Pacific with the Peace Corps - maybe we should get gay married in Iowa and join to get paid for bein us.....