THURSDAY NIGHT: ACT TWO

Scene: Andrew's house, 3 AM

ELSA is sipping a beer. ANDREW is carrying a pizza box. They walk into the house. ANDREW'S MOM is on the couch.

ANDREW: Hey Mom. This is my friend Elsa.

ELSA: Oh hi.

ANDREW'S MOM: Hi.

ELSA and ANDREW walk downstairs.


ANDREW: Awk-ward. She has a TV in her room, you'd think she could watch it there.

ELSA: Oh. God.

ANDREW and ELSA sit on a leather couch, and ANDREW turns on the TV, selects the "Ricky Gervais Show" from the digital cable menu and begins to eat pizza.

ANDREW: What are you doing tomorrow?

ELSA: I have to work like, all day.

ANDREW: That sucks.

ELSA: Yeah. What are do doing?

ANDREW: Fucking nothing. Looking for jobs. I just got fired from the record store.

ELSA: Where are you looking?

ANDREW: Best buy, radio shack.

ELSA: Oh. Nice.

ANDREW: I'm too tired to make you popcorn. You want something to drink?

ELSA: Yeah, how about some juice.

ANDREW gets ELSA a glass of orange juice.

ANDREW and ELSA watch RICKY GERVAIS for a while, and when ANDREW has finished a few slices of pizza, he leans over and starts kissing ELSA. ANDREW and ELSA are making out and start taking off each others clothes until they are both naked. ANDREW gets up and comes back with condoms. They begin to have sex. ELSA is on top.

ANDREW: Don't be so loud.

ELSA: I'm not being loud.

ANDREW: The couch, I mean. It's squeaking a lot.

ELSA is too drunk to fully contemplate the fact that this is the opposite of anything she has ever wanted but does feel a vague sense of boredom and hopes ANDREW will finish up soon.

ANDREW eventually comes and ELSA rolls off.

ANDREW: That last condom ripped.

ELSA: You better be fucking kidding.

ANDREW: I am.

ELSA: Worst joke ever.

ELSA gets up to pee. She comes back to the couch and ANDREW is eating pizza and watching the Ricky Gervais Show again. ELSA covers herself in a blanket and briefly wonders what constitutes slapping someone across the face these days.

ANDREW leans over and kisses ELSA.
ELSA's phone vibrates. She reaches for it and reads a text from MERE: "what the hell happened to you guys." ELSA texts her mom that she's sleeping over at her friend's house tonight.

ELSA closes her eyes and sleeps for a moment.

ANDREW: What time do you have to work tomorrow?

ELSA: Eleven.

ANDREW: Mmm. I think I'm gonna drive you home now. You could totally stay over but it's gonna suck way more to drive in the morning.

ELSA tries to stifle a visible smirk and notices she doesn't actually care.

ELSA: Ok.

ANDREW goes into the bathroom and ELSA pulls on her pants and shirt and stuffs her bra in her purse. She finishes the orange juice.

ELSA and ANDREW get into his car and listen to RYAN ADAMS. ELSA used to listen to RYAN ADAMS when she was a freshman in college and think that some of his songs were very romantic and sweet and that RYAN ADAMS must be a pretty senstive guy and that his music might be nice to listen to with another kind, sensitive guy.

ELSA and ANDREW engage in more idle banter on the car ride to ELSA's. ELSA can't wait to be in her own bed, alone.

They pull into ELSA's driveway.

ELSA: Welp, see ya later.

ANDREW: Yeah, I'll see you later.

ANDREW leans over and kisses ELSA.

ELSA: K. Bye.

ANDREW: Bye.


ANDREW pulls out of the driveway. ELSA walks into the house, upstairs to her bed and throws her purse on the ground. She looks in the mirror and notices her FRANK ZAPPA shirt is on inside out.