THURSDAY NIGHT: ACT THREE

Scene: the following Sunday night at a karaoke bar, midnight.

ELSA, MADDIE and JENNY are drinking beers after work. SOMEONE is performing the SPICE GIRLS "Wannabe."

ELSA: Jenny, what's the deal with you and Doug? Are you guys, like, togeths?

JENNY: Wellllll, sort of. But I don't know if I really like him... and I sort of have feelings for someone else.

MADDIE: Mmmm-hmmmm.

ELSA: Uh, who?!

JENNY: Well, almost everyone at work knows that Nick and I were sleeping together a while ago...

ELSA: [ahem] oooooooh.

MADDIE: You just need to talk to him about it.

JENNY: Yeah, I don't know...

ELSA: I kinda feel like Nick is one of those people who only want what they can't have.

JENNY: I know. He was in love with a lesbian a while ago.

MARVIN GAYE starts playing from the karaoke stage. ELSA looks to the front of the bar and sees ANDREW singing "Sexual Heeling."

ELSA: Oh god.

MADDIE: Ha! Andrew! Hey, didn't you guys make out a while ago?

ELSA: Uh, yeah.

JENNY: Oh, I remember when Tara told everyone at work!

ELSA: God, i know. I wanted to kill her.

MADDIE: You can't do ANYTHING at that place without Tara telling everyone.

ANDREW finishes singing.

ELSA: I'm gonna go say hi to this guy.

ELSA gets up and goes over to Andrew's table. She puts her hand on his shoulder.

ELSA: Hey.

ANDREW looks suprised and smiles.

ANDREW: Hey! Who are you here with?

ELSA: Just the ladies.

ANDREW reaches to touch ELSA's earrings.

ELSA: Nice work up there.

ANDREW: Thanks. Trying to think of what to do next.

ELSA notices a book on the table.

ELSA: Are you reading Sylvia Plath?

ANDREW: Yeah. I just started it.

ELSA: Don't put your head in the oven.

ANDREW: What?

ELSA: That's how she killed herself.

ANDREW: Don't ruin the ending for me!

ELSA: You should sing ELO next.

ANDREW: I don't know any ELO songs.

ELSA: Fleetwood Mac.

ANDREW: Out of my range.

ELSA: Boston.

ANDREW: Garbage.

ELSA: Animal Collective.

ANDREW: yeah, if i wanted to mumble for four minutes.

ELSA: Prince. Purple Rain.

ANDREW: Yes. I'm gonna go sign up right now.

ELSA gets some beers and brings them back to MADDIE and JENNY.

MADDIE: Ah, your man. You should sing with him!

ELSA: Uh, no.

MADDIE: That would so romantic!

ELSA: Definitely not.

MADDIE: Jen, you gotta talk to Nick.

ELSA: [ahem.] But it's like, do you really wanna have a relationship with that guy? No.

JENNY: Yeah, i know. You know him and Mere used to date, right?

ELSA: Yeah, I did hear that.

JENNY: I just like him because he's passionate... Doug is so logical. Like, the other day he came up behind me in the back room and was like "so how serious are you about this doug guy?" and he texted me the other night at 1 to see if i wanted to come over.

ELSA: Ok. ok. I have to tell you something.

MADDIE: You know something.

JENNY: Tara slept with him.

ELSA: No.

JENNY: You slept with him.

ELSA: [pause] no.

ELSA reaches for MADDIES beer and finishes it.

ELSA: Ok. I have have to tell you. Sister to sister.

MADDIE and JENNY: What is it?!?

ELSA: ok. I haven't told ANYONE this. but you have to know.

PRINCE starts playing from the stage and ANDREW is at the microphone.

ANDREW: This is a little something called Purple Rain, and it goes out to ELSA.

MADDIE: Your man! You have to go up and sing with him.

ELSA: Good christ no.

JENNY: Tell me!

ELSA: First of all, Nick and I have been making out a few times over the past couple months and I also just found out that he like JUST boned Mere.

JENNY: Wow. What?

ELSA: Yeah, I know. We had plans to hang out the other night but didn't, then I found out that Mere was texting him and they'd just boned.

MADDIE: Oh god. I can't believe I've been pushing for this guy. Fuck him.

ELSA: I know. We made out at work like last week. I had no idea he was also playing you.

JENNY: Oh my god. Fuck him. I'm going to make fun of how short he is from now on.

ELSA: Good. Sorry. But I just had to tell you before you dump anyone for him.

JENNY: Yeah, I'm definitely glad you did.


PURPLE RAIN ends. ANDREW walks back to his table. ELSA briefly contemplates going over to say something to him.

JENNY: I'm texting him right now. I won't tell him you told me anything. Fuck that guy.

MADDIE: Yeah, wow. What a douche. You should just make fun of his small hands.

ELSA watches ANDREW walk out of the bar with THE BELL JAR.


JENNY: I'm texting him: "just heard some stories. we can be friends and work together, but absolutely nothing else."

MADDIE: Good work, girl.

JENNY: Kinda feel like dudes are all d-bags?

MADDIE: Not mine! Hey! Where'd your man go, Els?

ELSA: I think he left...


ELSA, MADDIE and JENNY all take sips of their beer.


FIN